The Automaton

When I saw the previews for Transformers 2 (during the Super Bowl along with a few other million people) I remember thinking: This looks just like the first one. And that would have been okay. I like the first film: good, not great. Like most of Michael Bay’s stuff.

Alas, Transformers 2 is really just an attempt to outdo the facets of the first film that were successful, and that doesn’t necessarily spell success. Visually, it is amazing. Little can be said about the magnitude of the action sequences. They are fast, the sound is great, plenty of “seeming” realism and tension. The fluidity is awesome. After all, making it come across on-screen as believable and visually stunning at the same time is a feat in and of itself.

But my praise stops there. First of all, I haven’t seen so many racial stereotypes since Star Wars: Episode One. The – let’s face it – black twins (portrayed as two compact cars) have virtually no role other than comic relief, and would even be offensive to a clan member. With gilded, buck teeth, speaking in nothing but street slang, always fighting, and brimming with “your momma” jokes, this pair seem cast right out of a Wayans brother’s movie.

Let’s see who else we have:

• The Latino throwing out erratic Spanish bits, showing some chest, and hitting on anything with a heartbeat? Check.
• The Jewish guy working in a delicattesen and living with his mother? Check.
• The geriatric with failing memory, back spasms, and insipid tales of “the good ole days”? Check.
• The white surburban mom who owns a Chihuahua, cries a lot, and doesn’t know pot from pastries? Check, check, and check.
• Surprisingly, a Google search produces sparse results about these moronic racial brush strokes, leading me to believe that most will take it as low-brow humor and not a device to trigger gag reflex.

A film really needs comic relief. Cyborg is arguably the best Van Damme film, and yet gets no play because there is literally one joke made the entire film. But having – by my count – 8 characters with no role other than comic relief…not so much.

Plus, making the same sorts of jokes more over the top because it’s a sequel is a poor recipe indeed, and has made many flops and disgraced many series in the past.
So, while seeing Transformers 2 in theaters was indeed eye-popping, the horrid comedy and trite script didn’t justify the price of admission (not to mention the morons talking the whole time who seemed to love every bad joke, but that’s another matter, I suppose).

Filed under: Action - In Theatres NOW
Tags: « film • movie • review • transformers »
by Darren Todd
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In some ways I’m quite surprised that new(ish)-to-DVD The Heartbreak Kid didn’t do better than it did in theaters. I remember seeing the poster and thinking: Hey, it’s a Ben Stiller movie, but I’ve never heard of it.
And yet, there are some elements of Farrely Brothers’ newest film that make me understand where it zipped by some without catching their eye.

Foremost, if you haven’t seen it (and judging by IMDb numbers, it’s a safe bet that many haven’t) it is completely worth seeing. Don’t let any criticism or hesitancy deter from that: it’s worth watching.

The timing is just great, with recurring themes that crop up at the absolute best moments, causing raucous laughter amid cringing for protagonist Stiller. And the acting is very good, due largely to superb casting. No one is out of place despite some pretty tough and varying roles to play.

Having seen the original long ago, I remember feeling ambivalent toward the protagonist, and – while the remake captures much of the same, awkward love-him-one-minute, hate-him-the-next dynamic with Stiller, they are really two different characters.

That said, what really hurts Heartbreak is the Farrely Brothers doing things that they think viewers expect. It’s as if they can’t make a quality comedy without throwing in arbitrary and completely out-of-place sight gags and shocking visuals that do nothing to further the story, but actually detract from the quality of the film.

Like the inevitable beat-down in Adam Sandler movies, these elements have grown tired and simply don’t work well in every comedy. In fact, the films in which the Farrely Brothers have stayed out of their own way (Stuck on You and Fever Pitch comes to mind) have often proved the most successful.

Again, this is still a funny, entertaining movie, so if you can overlook the one or two rather removable shocking parts, the rest is quite good and will certainly have you laughing.

Filed under: On DVD - comedy
Tags: « ben stiller • dvd • film • movie • review • the heartbreak kid »
by Darren Todd
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The question is not “Does Tony Jaa kick ass?” but rather “How is it possible that Tony Jaa kicks so much ass?” This is what I found myself wondering after watching new-to-DVD Ong Bak 2. With a wholly different storyline and setting than the first Ong Bak, I worried for just a moment if it would appeal to me. After thoroughly enjoying everything with Jaa in it, you’d think I would have learned my lesson.

OB 2 is an awesome film for many reasons, not the least of which is Jaa’s aforementioned propensity for ass-kickery. Here’s a rundown of why pretty much all of his films rock:

1. The films are Thai and lower budget than most American action flicks, and yet the acting is pretty solid. If someone other than Jaa acts poorly, you’ll likely not notice because they’ll soon have Jaa’s foot in his mouth anyway.

2. The camera work is really quite innovative, with great angles and slo-mo shots in OB2 and memorable moments like the several minute long single shot scene from The Protector, resulting in the beating of about 100 extras.

3. The action is like clockwork. I can’t imagine how many takes go into a Tony Jaa movie, but I can tell you how many they use: as many as it takes for the action to come across flawlessly.

Let’s just say that if Jaa went up against more mainstream action heroes in many US films, it wouldn’t be pretty. Picture Paris Hilton versus Chyna, or Kip from Napleon Dynamite against Steve Austin. I have to say that I’m surprised that Jaa has yet to cross the pond and star in a good ‘ole over-budgeted blockbuster. But then I remembered: I wouldn’t want him to. While Van Damme’s Hard Target is arguably one of his best movies, it isn’t one of John Woo’s best. Compared with The Killer or Hard Boiled, Hard Target is a little like Sesame Street…with Van Damme.

So, do yourself a favor and check out a Tony Jaa movie – any one of them. New-to-DVD Ong Bak 2 is certainly on par with his others, but I guarentee you that any of them will make you rethink what good action, good fighting, and astoudning coreography are all about.

Filed under: Action - On DVD
Tags: « dvd • film • martial arts • movie • review • thai • tony jaa »
by Darren Todd
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Reminiscent of Friday the 13th: Part III, My Bloody Valentine won’t be winning Oscars anytime soon. I’m not sure what filters (or lack thereof) make soap operas stand out almost immediately when coming across them while channel surfing, but Valentine sports the same, amateur feel. While a step above Hi-8, this could have been shot with a borrowed digital camera and a boom mic.

However, let’s look past the soapy texture, and ask the only real important question: is it a good 3-D movie? For that, I would say Yes. It’s entertaining to watch a few times, and the 3-D effects, while totally set up, are also abundant and fairly creative. The acting isn’t bad, ironically, given a set that looked like a blown-up version of a hobbyist’s model train village. There’s obligatory nudity, and plenty of gore, though nothing to keep you up at night; the antagonist is wholly mollified by the end.

I don’t know what kind of money Valentine has made, since there was obviously more spent on the ad campaign than the movie, but watching it on a huge hi-def tv with surround sound and 3-D beat the pants off of watching a better movie on my iPod.

There are plenty of jump scares to make this campy show a good date flick, pleasing a broader audience than any really distrubing horror. The important thing to remember is that it was made and remains a 3-D only flick. Don’t go spending money on this movie if you don’t have the hardware to back it up. It will likely come across as contrived and dull, akin to sitting in the very back of a Gallagher show.

Even with the unintentional comedy, I’d say that the R rating is quite justified. The 3-D elements don’t make the extended nude scenes and gore any better for the kiddies.

Filed under: Horror - On DVD - Rated R
Tags: « 3-D • dvd • film • movie • movie review • my bloody valentine »
by Darren Todd
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If watching The Blair Witch Project, Quarantine, or Cloverdale made you sick and ruined your enjoyment of the film, then you should probably skip this review. At least I mentioned that in the first sentence.

If you didn’t get sick – if indeed you like the style of shooting as I do – then Home Movie should be your next rental (or buy).

With only four actors (one of whom is Adrian Pasdar – Nathan Petrelli from Heroes), and a direction that is clear in the first five minutes, Home Movie really needs more than jump scares and creepy kids to keep it afloat, and it indeed comes through in a big way. While the camcorder style of shooting can give the film a less professional feel, Home Movie’s scenes are tightly crafted and feel very purposeful, which speaks a lot to the way in which it is edited. Though it only rings in at an hour and twenty minutes, I don’t feel gypped, but rather happy with how tight the scenes feel.

Too, there are a number of more subtle sight and sound elements that make a subsequent view a must, as you’ll inevitably be trying to put some things together at the end.

Mostly, despite the aforementioned predictability, the film stayed with me for some time, as I kept thinking about what facets of the plot might have meant. It is this complexity in a simple package that is untimately Home Video’s greatest appeal. Stacked against far flatter, jump scare horror films, Home Video proves much richer and more distrubing. Don’t think you’ll jump out of your seat so much as you’ll find yourself unable to sleep, which is the mark of great horror in my opinion.

Filed under: Horror - On DVD
Tags: « dvd • heroes • home movie • movie • movie review • reviews »
by Darren Todd
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Coming from a Wolvie background of accrued allowance and mowed lawns contributing to anything with Logan’s mug on it, I’m likely seeing the latest X-Men movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine from a different place than most. Still, I found the film enjoyable, particularly at the beginning. The story is well-handled if a little off the Wolvie lore mark.

The casting is notably good, except for Gambit, who – with a strong niche following in the comic world – should have been played by someone recognizable and with the same spice as the Remy from comics. Vincent Cassel comes to mind.

The film did give me a renewed respect for the unique position Wolvie’s adamantium skeleton puts him in – a detail often overlooked or forgotten over time.

However, as with the last two X-Men movies, things begin to unravel toward the end. You think you’re about to witness severe ass-kickery only to be disappointed at what unfolds, with a slew of “why did they do that?” moments that harm the suspicion of disbelief. Action which could have cost less and used less eye-popping CGI could also have been truer to the situation and characters.

Let’s not even talk about the absolute butchery of Bloodpool. His most glaring feature – his wit – is taken away entirely, as he’s rendered a mute. Ummm..yeah.

If you want to see Hugh Jackman naked, see Wolverine. If you want to see some awesome Wolvie action, check out Hulk Vs Wolverine, the hour-long cartoon recently released to DVD. Either way, unless you’re dying to see Jackman streaking on the big screen, I might wait for the DVD to catch this one.

Filed under: Action - In Theatres NOW
Tags: « film • movie • movie reviews • review • theater • wolverine • x-men »
by Darren Todd
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The anticipated second film of Dan Brown’s dynamic protagonist Robert Langdon (played by Tom Hanks) just opened. While I have read The DaVinci Code (along with pretty much every literate human), I hadn’t read Angels and Demons prior to seeing the film. I knew what to expect: lots of Christian lore, codes, puzzles, and action. The question is how well these elements are portrayed. After all, The Omega Code had a great premise along the same lines, but it is a horrid film.

However, Demons proves true to the hype, full of solid acting, well-cut and well-paced scenes, and enough twists and turns to keep you interested while not becoming convoluted.

Sure, there are some moments of coincidence difficult to swallow: apparently all you need to know to find anything is to follow where a statue is pointing. Good thing no janitors moved them in the last 400 years. And some clues are heavy-handed enough to where believing that they would have remained hidden for so long is a bit of a stretch.

However, given that some of the more intricate puzzles had to be translated to film without the benefit of pages and pages of description, it suspended disbelief more than enough to be enjoyable.

Too, there are a number of insights about the church and science which are wholly poignant and profound. That is, if the actual Catholic church were made up more of the sorts of thinkers in the film, their numbers would soar. And even the most staunch atheist has to give some credence to the points delivered sporadically throughout the film.

I’m sure many people would like to know how it stacks up against The DaVinci Code. I have to admit, I am more taken with Demons as a film than DaVinci, despite really enjoying reading the latter. Perhaps because there is enough story to go along with the action, that I feel Demons has a higher replay value.

But for any fan of the genre or Dan Brown’s work, Angels and Demons will prove a worthwhile and enjoyable trip to the cinema. Another excellent job by Ron Howard.

Director:  Ron Howard – The Da Vinci Code, A Beautiful Mind, Edtv, Apollo 13, Willow

Writer:  Dan Brown (novel) - The Da Vinci Code

Actors: Tom Hanks – Charlie Wilson’s War, The Da Vinci Code, The Terminal
                Ewan McGregor – Star Wars, Robots, Big Fish, Moulin Rouge!, Trainspotting
                Ayelet Zurer – Vantage Point, Munich
                Stellan Skarsgård – Mamma Mia!, Pirates of the Caribbean, Beowulf, Dogville

Filed under: Crime - Drama - In Theatres NOW - Mystery - PG-13 - Thriller
Tags: « angels and demons • Anti Matter • Based on a novel • davinci code • Illuminati • movie • movie review • novel • remake • ron howard • Sequel • Symbolism • tom hanks »
by Darren Todd
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Like most Americans, I don’t entertain nearly as many foreign films as I’d like. Or should, if I’d hope to find gems like Sweden’s new(ish) to DVD Let the Right One In.
It is, above all, a story about love and connection, but punctuated by the occasional vampiric killing.

While graphic, Right One is not filled with gratuitous violence or imagery, and doesn’t default to mollified and ultimately dissatisfying CGI gore. Because – not despite – this, the scenes of violence are quite intense and exceptionally well done. It’s really what you don’t see that adds to the scenes’ complexity and emotional impact.

The film is not the first to delve into the inherent consequences of perpetual youth, as revealed by the 12-year-old vampire Eli. It is among the first I’ve seen brave enough to make viewers think about immortality as a child in a way other than a passing plot device or means of portraying children in a creepy light (seemingly the last decade’s sole definition of horror).

I am prone to read the book now, and may well do a comparison later on the two, but from what I’ve read on it, the film does a service by not spoiling certain elements or answering every question, but allowing viewers to form their own ideas about what happens and what it means.

Alas, as with any successful foreign film, the US film industry is doing a remake of Right One to be released next year. How they hope to improve on the film is a mystery, since Sweden’s version established an almost perfect mix of horror and hope that American blockbusters can only water down with more effects, big actors, and moronic plot twists that pass for genuine creativity.

I’m no misanthrope; I love American films. But how many US remakes have you seen that capture the same emotions as their originals – even with ten times the budget?

So my advice is, don’t wait ’til the remake. Go rent Let the Right One In if you’re either a horror fan or like vampire lore. Even if you’re not wholly interested in the genre, you won’t be let down, as the story alone carries the film exceptionally well.

Filed under: Horror - On DVD - Rated R - Thriller
Tags: « dvd • film • let the right one in • movie • movie reviews • novel • remake • sweden • vampire »
by Darren Todd
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I caught enough of this movie in the theater (while waiting for another flick) to know that I was interested, so right when The Curious Case of Benjamin Button came to DVD, I was at the Red Box renting.

Beginning in such a dynamic time as the early 20th century hooks you right away, as does Benjamin himself and some of the other odd characters that his New Orleans home seems to attract. And yet, aside from excellent continuity, there’s little that’s expressly period – to really stick you in the ’20s and force you into the film. I’m not saying I wanted historical footage, arbitrary moments of history strewn on newspapers or eventually on the television, but there was a sense of disconnect there nonetheless.

And even as the very likable and warm story progresses, the meat of the film – Benjamin – similarly keeps viewers at a short distance. I think that, though unintentional, this manifests because of how little those around him address his condition, much like how – in New Orleans itself – there is seemingly little crime, racism, poverty, or bigotry.

While I do not need to be incessantly reminded of our darker natures just as Benjamin should remind us all of our mortality, these key elements missing from the film would be like watching Forest Gump without Forest being special. Then it’s just some dude who runs, fights, fishes, and mows lawns.

Too, the implications of a backward life are profound, as it is our mortal condition that we are wisest, most willing, and most interested in life when we are too feeble to make the most of it. Dare I say it, despite excellent acting on Pitt’s part, Button is largely a flat character, with few differences when he’s 70 as when he’s 7.

The film is good, and worth renting, to be sure. And perhaps subsequent views will alter my opinion somewhat, but when such potential existed for it, I admit to feeling a little let down by Button.

Filed under: Adventure - Drama - On DVD
Tags: « benjamin button • brad pitt • dvd • film • kate blanchett • movie • movie reviews »
by Darren Todd
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I would state the obvious – that the latest installment of the Star Trek saga has pretty large shoes to fill – but I’m not so sure that’s the case. Since it’s been some time since the latest Star Trek movie, or at least one that was meant to appeal to all audiences, and since this latest Star Trek is a prequel, when going to see it in theaters, I don’t feel as if I’m among Trekkies. The previews were not for more esoteric films that sci-fi fans might like, but rather for mainstream blockbusters like the second Transformers movie and G.I. Joe. 

Considering this, the wisest move the producers of Star Trek could have made is make a more mainstream version of the classic series. In that, they have succeeded. While it helped to know a thing or two from the original series, it wasn’t required to enjoy the movie. It is a film with lots of action, comedy, and plenty of eye-candy, which just happens to take place in the universe of Gene Roddenberry’s making. While it will enjoy brand recognition, it would have been a success with or without Star Trek mythology and characters at its core. 

That said, Star Trek may not please the hardcore Trekkies, who perhaps are looking for more of a serious, insider expansion to Star Trek lore. In fact, I would guess that – were it not for the alternate universe created by time-traveling in the film -Trekkies would find incessant continuity errors incongruent with the original series. While time travel is a quagmire that can ruin some plots, the way it is handled in the film is laudable: a mistake, for all intents and purposes. After all, every gun in the universe wouldn’t hold a candle to the flying tin can that could travel through time at will. 

The casts is rather exceptional, with some wink and nod moments as tribute (and for continuity’s sake) with the original cast, but not so much that the actors are bound by the acting tropes and methods of their forebears. Continuing with this cast, I foresee them growing even more on their own, and less into the original cast – partly due to the almost absolute freedom that the alternate reality affords them, but also because the new cast is what a new generation of Star Trek fans will associate with. 

While you knew that the visuals would be amazing, the sound deserves mentioning as well. A powerful score accompanies many scenes, as well as excellent sound effects that any modern theater fleshes out, making the experience far more enveloping. I guess in Star Trek’s case, the campy Brit anti-piracy ad “It’s the experience that counts” holds true. 

All in all, I’m glad to have seen Star Trek in theaters. It was the perfect length (two hours, more of less), and is a great start to what could be a revival of the Star Trek universe in film. I see this installment as the segue from the old to the new much like Star Trek: Generations is, and I hope that this means that the next film will exercise almost complete autonomy from the old lore, and come into its own with a fresh, star-studded cast and lots of potential. 

Director: J.J. Abrams – Fringe, Lost, Cloverfield, Alias

Actors:    Chris Pine – Smokin’ Aces, Confession, The Princess Diaries 2
                 Zachary Quinto – Heroes, 24
                 Eric Bana – The Other Boleyn Girl, Hulk, Black Hawk Down
                 Karl Urban – The Bourne Supremacy, The Chronicles of Riddick, The Lord of the
                                        Rings

Filed under: Action - Adventure - PG-13 - Sci-Fi
by Darren Todd
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